‘We are but only fragile threads, but what a tapestry we can make’ – Jerry Ellis
Today, as I reflect on the spirit of Muhibbah – the goodwill that beautifully unites Malaysians – I am compelled to celebrate the extraordinary life of a woman who embodied this spirit in every sense: my beloved late grandmother, Asmah Alsagoff Abdullah @ Ang-Tek. She passed away on 26 May 2017, at the remarkable age of 95, leaving behind a legacy steeped in love, resilience and an unwavering commitment to family.
Grandma’s journey began in the post-World War II era, a time marked by immense challenges and upheaval. Yet, despite the hardships she faced, she emerged triumphant, embracing her roles as a mother, grandmother, and above all, a proud Malaysian woman. Her life was not just lived; it was a vibrant tapestry woven with threads of courage, compassion and the indomitable spirit of a woman who truly made the most of every moment.
Today, the family she nurtured boasts an impressive array of Malaysian success stories – from accomplished doctors to innovative engineers and dynamic entrepreneurs. We stand as living proof of her dedication, a testament to the strong foundation she laid for generations to come. We are proud participants in the ongoing story of family building in our beloved nation.
Grandma’s life story is as unique as it is inspiring. She was married twice—first to a Chinese Christian and later to a Malay-Muslim. Both marriages enriched her life and our family tapestry. When her first husband passed away, she shared heart-wrenching yet beautiful memories with me, recounting her life’s journey in Chinese Hokkien dialect – a captivating tale that was as sweet as it was bittersweet.
The tumultuous times of the 1940s and 50s presented extreme challenges. Poverty and disease were constant companions, forcing Grandma to make difficult decisions, including offering the adoption of one of her children from the first marriage – a choice made with profound love and consideration. Yet, through these trials, she fostered a lineage rooted in Muhibbah. Blessed with three children from her first marriage and five from her second, Grandma’s family expanded far and wide, in a beautiful blend of backgrounds and cultures.
I vividly remember visits to her home in Kepong, north of Kuala Lumpur, where my father would take my brother and me alternately on his trusty Vespa motorcycle. These visits were filled with laughter, warmth and connection, reinforcing the idea that family bonds transcend race and religion. Indeed, blood is thicker than water—a proverb that resonates deeply in our home. The embrace of family, irrespective of our differences, was a lesson Grandma imparted with love.
Fast forward to today, the Alsagoff-Tek family continues to flourish, a vibrant ensemble of diverse faiths and cultures. We proudly include Muslims, Christians, Taoists and Buddhists, as well as family members from Sabah,1 Singapore and Iran. Our conversations flow effortlessly in Bahasa Malaysia, English, Hokkien2 and Cantonese, creating a rich linguistic amalgam that mirrors our diversity and reflects the heart of Malaysia.
Though we may hold differing political and all other worldly views, the essence of our family, rooted in Grandma’s teachings, binds us together. We’ve learned to embrace our differences and come together for life’s significant moments – birthdays, weddings and farewells – sharing joy and sorrow alike. Even during the isolating days of the Covid-19 pandemic, we found creative ways to connect, whether through virtual gatherings or socially-distanced visits, reminding us that family is a wellspring of strength and love.
Grandma’s life journey is a small yet vital piece of the beautiful mosaic that is Malaysia. We, the Alsagoff-Tek family, are proud to represent the true colours of Malaysia. Muhibbah thrives in our hearts, reminding us that unity is built on respect and understanding. Our nation’s history is woven with stories of integration, and it is our duty to safeguard and pass down these priceless gifts to future generations. “Melentur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya”— a proverb in Malay that means to nurture a bamboo, it must be allowed to begin from the young shoots.
One cherished memory stands out vividly: during a Chinese New Year gathering, Grandma leaned in and whispered to me, “Joseph, I am very proud of you. When I see our family united, my heart swells with joy.” Her pride radiated when we welcomed the Austrian ambassador to Malaysia and his wife during Chinese New Year 2020; they were awestruck by the harmonious gathering, witnessing firsthand the beauty of Malaysia – truly Asian in every sense.
Unity signifies oneness, but it does not demand sameness. Our differences enrich our lives, and through Grandma’s legacy, the Alsagoff-Tek family has grown, embodying the very essence of nation-building. Together, we are greater than the sum of our parts.
Each day presents an opportunity for all Malaysians – and everyone living elsewhere in the world – to contribute to a better united future. What we need are not just ethnic, racial or ideology based heroes, but bridge-builders – individuals who foster goodwill, mutual respect, peace and harmony. As I reflect on Grandma’s life, I believe she is smiling down from heaven, her spirit of Muhibbah alive in our hearts, guiding us forward. Her legacy is not just our family story; it is a reminder that love knows no boundaries and that unity is not just a goal, but a way of life. Let us carry forward the spirit of Muhibbah, ensuring that our rich tapestry of cultures, traditions and beliefs continues to thrive for generations to come.
Joseph Tek Choon Yee is a distinguished leader in the palm oil industry with over 30 years of experience.
His career includes corporate roles such as CEO and Managing Director of a publicly listed company
and Chief Executive of the Malaysian Palm Oil Association (MPOA). Joseph holds a First-Class Honours
Bachelor’s degree in Botany from the National University of Malaysia, an MPhil in Plant Breeding from
Cambridge University, and has completed the ASEAN Senior Management Development Programme
at Harvard Business School. His educational background, combined with his extensive industry
experience, enables him to blend technical expertise with strategic vision and passion. Guided by his
motto, “Aspire to inspire before expire,” Joseph is dedicated to advancing leadership and innovation in
his field. He opted for an early retirement and now lives in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. He is involved with
youth empowerment through TVET especially for marginalised youths in Borneo.
Footnotes
- A province in Northern Borneo, to the east of the country
- A Chinese dialect that originated in the Minnan region of Fujian in China and is widely spoken in Southeast Asia